30 weeks!

10 weeks to go!

I had an appointment with my actual OB this morning (not my midwife who I typically see). It was just a regular check in; weight, blood pressure, doppler, measure, the usual. Fundal height (how big the uterus is) appears to be right on track, and as usual when the doppler was placed to listen to D's heartbeat he went "running" so the Dr had to keep chasing him. His heart beat is still hold strong at 140 beats per minute. He was really active during the appointment and kept pushing part out so the Dr felt around and said that he is still head down so that's his little butt that he was pushing out there. I was actually glad to hear that since I was convinced he was turned sideways as I get kicks and punches on both sides at the same time. Dr said that they can flip around and around several times with in a matter of minutes so while he is head down now after lunch he could flip and then flip back again. It's all fine with me so long as once I am in labor he is head down and ready to go!

I was able to talk to her and ask a few questions that I had concerning birthing at the hospital. I made it clear that we had wanted to use a birth center but Kaiser would not cover a penny of it so that sadly took it out of the cards, but I still wanted to have a natural unmedicated birthing experience. She said that the staff should be supportive of my choices and that if I have a birth plan already written up (which I do) to bring it in for her to review and make sure that everything would be fine with hospital policy. As I had long suspected Kaiser does rotations of the L&D Dr's. Meaning that it's a 99% sure thing that I will not have my OB or my midwife there during the birth, it will just be whatever Dr happens to be on rotation that day.
On one hand I am fine with this because really it seems all the Dr does is come in and check from time to time then catch the baby (which we plan to have Daniel to anyways so that takes that "job" away from them). So most of the interaction is between you and the nurses on the clock during that time, but on the other hand I know that both my OB and my midwife are supportive of my choices/requests regarding birthing that I have already made vocal. This Dr on call may have something different in their head and make things slightly more difficult for me that I am hoping...but we will just have to wait and see. From talking with my OB it sounds like so long as there are no actual emergencies then they will stick to my plan.

It's really crazy that this is the last double digit week in the count down. It's all just flying by so fast and it keeps hitting me than in just about 10 weeks our little man will be here! It trips me out so bad. There is actually going to be this little human that we are responsible for 24/7. And I think oh my gosh what if I can't handle it, what if I just suck at being his mom. I was telling Daniel the other night that a small part of me wished he would stay put because it's so much easier to take care of him in there. He laughed at me and said by mid January I will be getting tired of being pregnant and just ready for him to be here.

Seriously though I can't seem to fully wrap my mind around it.
I mean see the crib and dresser all set up with his clothes, diapers, and other things just sitting there waiting for him to get here. And I can not wait to hold him and kiss him and just stare at his beautiful face but I still can't believe that it has gone by so quickly. Luckily I am not alone in "freaking out that it's so close and not feeling ready", even second, third, or more time moms have all said that they just can't believe it either and are getting anxious about it being so close.