It should have been your birthday

Today should have been my brother Jacobs 19th birthday.
It's hard to believe that it's been 10 months since he passed away, and when D gets here (you know assuming that he will come in February and not early in January) it will have been a year.

I still have such a mix of emotions about his passing. I miss him, but I don't miss him. I know that he is in a better place and that gives me peace but it's still strange not seeing him and his big goofy smile or hear his laugh.

I am not sure if the family is doing anything special for the day. I know Daniel had wanted to and suggested it to my parents a couple weeks ago but they were not open to the idea at all then so he didn't push it. We know that today is going to be 1000 times harder on them than anybody else and that we need to just let them do what they need to do to get through it.

Happy what should still be your Birthday little brother, RIP.